Garett's Tips for Trouble

1.  Be vewwy, vewwy, twyet.  I know you know this one, but it always bears repeating.  Silence is essential in a small house with 16 eyes and earballs watching out for you.


2.  Timing is everything.  Choose a day when Mom and Dad are truly exhausted.  If your Daddy can drive 16 hours and then go swimming like mine, you can have all the trouble you want and he will be too tired to complain.  It really helps if Mommy has been weeding all day too, but this is tricky.  Make sure you wait until bedtime so she is good and sleepy or this one could backfire.  Besides, you have to go to sleep anyway, so who cares if they send you to bed right?  I know...brilliant.


3.  Psyche 'em out.  If you can help it, try to be extra good for a couple of days or weeks, especially during 'projects'.  Let them think that you have moved on from that 'phase' so they won't be thinking about locking up fun stuff like metallic paint.


4.  Know your victim.  Choosing to use Mommy's favorite colors was, I have to admit, instinctive genius.  I am sure if Mommy had the guts to paint the dining room floor herself she would have chosen exactly the same Sapphire Blue and Purple Pearl. 


5.  If you can't hide the evidence, apologize quickly.  Never underestimate the power of humility.  moms and dads have notoriously been suckers for immediate repentance.  They may not be excessively pleased, but a modest part of their parental souls will be inordinately proud.  So much so, that they just may forget all about who did it.  My first choice would have been to leave the scene of the exceptional crime but I am afraid my Avatar disguise was incomplete, and my majestic blue and purple footprints would have led them right to me.


6.  Offer to help clean up.  This one is, of course, closely related to tip number five.  And you see, if you also paid diligent attention to the timing tip, your parents will be so woefully weary they will want your mess of trouble cleared as fast as you do.  Putting yourself on their side is the right move and may very likely have their sluggish minds tumbling into confusion as they consider the appropriate consequence.

7.  Make your own luck.  Saving your poopy diapers for just such an occasion is the smart thing to do.  You see, how can Mom even think about complaining about your crunchy acrylic painted pajamas or her azure stained bathtub when she is ankle deep in surprise floaties?!  She can hardly be mad at you for that, right?  Because hey, poop happens. 

Oh, and finally, your luck will serve you better if the tattle-tail dog is visiting Aunt Julia's.

Pepper never would have let this happen!

Garett